Monday, April 30, 2007

Have you ever been air brushed?

Have been getting ready for vacation and looked at my mayonnaise white legs and decided I should do something about it before we leave. Seeings as we haven't had much sun and it's been too cold to lay out on the deck in my bikini (yeah right!), I decided to go get a spray on tan. Funsize, my niece, has been going and looks fabulous but she's 24 with no wrinkles or cellulite so she looks fab all the time.

I made the appointment and went at the designated time and walked in feeling a bit foolish for being so vain that I wanted tanned legs. Well....they don't do JUST LEGS. Nope, she said that isn't the way it's done. It's all or nothing. Now let's think about that a minute... Oh, she says in her squeaky high pitched voice, with her size two body and her beautiful blond hair, you can wear your under*pants. Now there, that makes me feel a whole lot better..........

I said to her, "am I the oldest and fattest client that you have ever had"? Really, I said that. She laughed and said "No, I have an 81 year old client!" I didn't dare ask her if the 81 year old client was chubby.

Well I went in the little room and took off everything but the bare essentials like she advised and there I stood. Thankfully there was no mirror to remind me that I am a 56 year old grandmother.

She breezed in with her little mask on her face and started spraying me with this stuff that is supposed to make me tanned and healthy looking. Actually it felt kind of cool and nice and with her talking nonstop it wasn't really all that embarrassing, after all, she does this 8 hours a day so I wouldn't think everyone would look like Tara Banks or whatever that famous models name is.

After having me stand in several different poses to get all the nooks and crannies I was done and she said to stand in front of this little fan for a few minutes to dry a bit and then get dressed and come out.

When I came out she said she had a few more instructions for me and they were 1. not to sweat for 8 hours and 2. don't shower or scrub your hands for 8 hours. Now the showering I have some control over but the sweating part was a bit iffy. You're talking to someone that can have 5 hot flashes an hour with no control over anything!!! Just telling me not to have a hotflash almost gave me a hotflash!!

Anyway I came home and tried to think about all the cold snow we had all winter and believe it or not I didn't have a hotflash until the next day. We can't have our tan dripping onto the floor ya know!

It actually look pretty good the next day, not orange like I had feared and not fake bake like some of the tanning booth people look like but just a little color like I had been outside for a few hours. I am going back again on Thursday so it will be fresh for vacation as it wears off pretty quickly and I am starting to get that mayo look again. I guess you have to go once a week to keep it going but I just want it for this trip and then I will let nature give me a little color while I work in the garden or ride my horse.

If someone had told me that I would be getting a spray on tan in my under*pants I would've told them that they were crazy so you see you never know what you will do in this life!


Joan said...

You are one brave lady to expose yourself somewhat for the sake of a fake tan. Me...I like the mayonnaise look!

dcrmom said...

HEEEE! HEEEEE!! That takes the cake. I did the automated spray kind once, where you stand in this little booth and hold your breath and turn in circles and wave your arms and legs like a lunatic while these jets spray you for 15 seconds. I felt like it was some sadistic kind of torture, lol!! But it sure did give a nice tan.

palmtreefanatic said...

You are TOO Funny! I don't know anyone but you now that has done this are brave! I hope it works for you, sounds pretty painless, but my under arms and feet and hand sweat so uncontrolably I would have the tan running no doubt,sigh, but then you enlightened me much on this! Have fun getting packed:)

Susie said...

I pretty much having a year round tan being here in CA. Good thing too, cause I can't quite see myself getting sprayed in my underwear. Pretty scary thought!!

Tonya said...

Like DCRMom, I have done the tan in the booth spray on tan. It looked good for the first few days but I didn't think it lasted very long.

Well, now I to the tanning bed thing. Did you know it's a proven fact that tan cellulite looks better than white cellulite?

KC said...

LOL LOL.. OH I am loving this post. I have never been brave enough to try that. I knew about the automated kind but I didn't know there were people out there who would spray you down. LOL don't know if I would want that job LOL. When I think about the automated kind all that pops into my head is that Friends episode where Ross goes and gets a spray tan and doesn't know how to turn right and ends up super dark on one side and white as can be on the other. I fear that would be me.
To Answer your questions to your comment you left on my blog.
We have been there many MANY times also.. at least once a year but some years 3 or 4 times. Dolly Parton park is called Dollywood and yes I have been there 3 times. 2 of those times I was PG so I couldn't do a whole lot but it was fun and the kids would love it. Everyone says it is a wonderful park and I really did enjoy all the shows they have. Only I grew up going to and only live 15 mins from So while Dolly has a really nice country park and a wonderful water park IMO it's not Cedar Point. Though my kids and DH likes it. I haven't got to the end of my vacation post.. we spent 4 nights on the beach in florida which i'm getting too, then headed back home(sort of out of our way)and stayed another night in Pigeon Forge so we could see the Dollywood paraid with was Lead by none other then Dolly herself.. Now it's nothing we would have planned a trip around(like my IL's did) But since it was only adding an hour and 30 onto our long trip and we were planning on stopping somewhere anyways.. we went and the kids had a blast. But I'll get to all of that sometime soon I hope LOL..
Thanks for your kind comments about my family and the photo of me with no make up. Your too kind.

BarnGoddess said...

When I was pregnant w/ Wee One, I did the Mystic tan, where a machine sprays your whole entire body w/ the tanner (except your hair and feet/hands) it looked good and I got quite a few compliments.

I have never had someone else spray me tho....

this post was funny, it made me smile!

its good to find humor in getting older, sometimes I miss my 20's so much it depresses me. Even in my early 30's I was in great shape until Wee One came along....bearing children isnt good for the physique.

"Just telling me not to have a hotflash almost gave me a hotflash!!"

LOL so TRUE!!!

PEA said...

I'm still giggling, just thinking of you standing there in your bare necessities! LOL You're right, though, we never should say're talking to someone who will be 50 this year and just got a tattoo on her ankle a couple months back...something I thought I'd NEVER do! hehe xoxo

Dawn said...

There is no way on this earth that I could do that! That is hilarious! Don't sweat! I hope you have as good a time as we had last week.

My sweetie gave me my desire for Christmas - a digital camera. He did a lot of research and got me the Kodak EasyShare C743. I love it and have been getting good comments about my foray into photography. Thanks!