Thursday, March 11, 2010

Resting Underwear

It's been a while since I have really made a fool out of myself on the ole' blawg (you must remember the spray tan incident and of course the Spanx debacle) so I decided it's time.  This time it is about resting underwear.  Yes, you read correctly, resting underwear.

I had been looking for a new brand of br*as as the old ones just weren't doing the job if you know what I mean......... What is it about gravity as we get older?  Why couldn't gravity have been the other way and all things would  be elevated?  Just one of those questions that will never be answered but I digress.........

While in Texas I did quite a bit of shopping as it rained cats and dogs every day that we were there so we couldn't do many outside activities.  As I have said before Chico's is my favorite place to shop so we hit about four of them in different malls.  One of them had a really nice 'personals' department so I went in to take a looksy.

A really nice sales lady came right over as I perused all the different kinds of undies that seemed to be more suited to my age and style then those in so many stores that don't have enough fabric in them to blow your nose with.  Thongs.  I thought those were something your wore on your feet when you went to the pool.  Hip I'm not, hippy I am.

I told her what I was looking for and we picked out numerous styles and I headed for the changing room.  She hung everything up on a hanger and then asked me if I was a hooker or a twister?!!!!  Excuse me?!  Am I the only one on the face of the earth that didn't know what that meant?  After she explained I said I was a twister which is a no-no, all women should hook in the back and not twist the fabric around.  Who would know?

After trying on several I hit the jackpot and found something that was comfortable I said I would take three of them.  Then came the resting part.  She explained that you NEVER wear this garment two days in a row!!  They have to rest for a day!!  A day of rest? Yep, a day of rest.  It was something about the fibers, elastic, blah blah blah.

I don't know about you but I have never heard about clothes that have to rest.  It's not like they are holding up the world.  Good grief.  Then she took the item of clothing I was wearing when I came in and threw it in the trash saying now that I had this brand I would never go back to that brand.  I didn't want to do any dumpster diving so I walked out with my purchases.  I got in the car with the Hubs who was waiting patiently for me (thank goodness for Blackberries!) and asked him if he knew that underwear had to rest.  He gave me the look like 'I really don't want to hear this' so I spared him the details. 

Have a good weekend!


Patti said...

LOL that is too funny! I've never heard of resting underwear either! That would have made me mad if she had thrown my old bra away!! LOL

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

What a shopping experience! I don't think I would have liked someone throwing my undergarments away. That's my job ;-)

Mrs Mom said...


If my bra was supposed to "rest", it would run screaming when it saw the packages it was intended to carry ;) Add in the activities it is supposed to work THROUGH, and yeah, it'd need therapy.

And hooker VS twister? LOLOL (I snorted coffee on that one, cause until you explained it, I had no clue Turns out my boulder holders hook in front, so... we're good! ;)

Much MUCH love to you MM. Thanks for the words of encouragement with all that has been going on over here lately. It's a help to know you are there!!

BIG HUGS to you all.....

Needled Mom said...

Well....that gave me a good chuckle for the start of my day. I could actually picture your expression when asked if you were a hooker or a twister. I am sure that I would have felt the same way. I guess it is good that I am a hooker! Wait till I tell E.

I have always seen their underwear at the shop and never thought about trying it. Don't know why...hmmmm.

So....any regrets that you left your old underwear there?

Guess I will get my shower and put on my undies that have had as much rest as I have had overnight!

Enjoy your weekend. I hear it is suppose to be stormy for you. Hugs to all.

Julie Harward said...

LOL that is very funny! I always give mind several days of rest...I guess the 60's are still with me, I hate wearing bra's! So I don't around home..only when I go out! Come say hi :D

Linds said...

I nearly choked on my coffee when you got to the need for the underwear to rest bit! Hysterical. Mine probably needs an extended holiday by now. And I would SO have dived into the bin to retrieve my old things! And being a twister has worked for decades. I don't think the arms bend that far backwards any longer, so a twister we will remain!

Sharon said...

Oh that was so funny. I did not know about the resting either.
I would not have permitted her to dumpster any of my undies. How rude!!
The next time I go to buy a boulder holder, I'll probably break out laughing thinking about you.
Thanks for sharing.

palmtreefanatic said...

ha! How informative...for real? Ok You taught me so much here! I guess I am a twister too I never felt coordinated to just hook, lol! But to rest a day? hmmm
I suppose she told you all about laundering by hand and hanging to dry too?;)

Renie Burghardt said...

The title of this post intrigued me, and the content had me in stitches! I had to call my best friend and read it to her (she isn't into computers) and she said all she ever needed was band aids, no twisters or hookers for her. LOL.

As for me, I just bought a couple of new bra's. Uplifters, if you know what I mean. At my age, gravity has become extreme!

Have a great weekend!


A more perky, Renie-Ha ha!


Alice Grace said...

That is hilarious! That was one aggressive saleslady! Resting? to me!

Rising Rainbow said...

I hate to admit this but I got stuck on the visual when you made the remark about gravity going up instead of down. Still can't get the image out of my mind. LOL

Marcy said...

Wow. This was a very informative post. I never have such exciting shopping trips. I hope I never have trouble with my arms so that I can't be a "hooker" anymore because I can't stand twisting fabric around myself like that. Yick. The thought of if gives me the heebie jeebies. I don't think I'll be giving my undies a rest. I guess they think that the fabric will permanently stretch itself out if you wear it more than one day in a row?

That's a great story. Thanks for sharing!

Carroll Farm said...

That is TOO funny, but good to know.

Kerri said...

Oh, thanks for the end-of-the-day chuckle..well belly laugh actually :) Hilarious!
I would've fished my underwear back out too. That woman takes her job way too seriously and is sadly lacking in good manners! Bras need a rest?....honestly, now I've heard everything :)
I once had a bra saleswoman admonish me in a very stern manner for being a twister. I'm still a twister in spite of her lecture :)
I hope your weather has been as gorgeous as ours this week. Rain is in the forecast for the next 4 days. Spring is coming though :)

Terri said...

Midlife Mom,
You made me LOL! Good we can learn to laugh at ourselves as we get just a little older.
I'm a longtime writer but brand new blogger. Think this will be fun,however there is so much to learn!
Please take the time to visit me at
Hope to see you soon!
Terri Baker

Dawn said...

Hilarious!! I have to say my undies don't get a rest. I'd be interested in knowing what brand you ended up with - I really hate shopping for such things, and really hate what is happening at this age!

Thanks for a good chuckle!

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