Have you ever been air brushed?

Have been getting ready for vacation and looked at my mayonnaise white legs and decided I should do something about it before we leave. Seeings as we haven't had much sun and it's been too cold to lay out on the deck in my bikini (yeah right!), I decided to go get a spray on tan. Funsize, my niece, has been going and looks fabulous but she's 24 with no wrinkles or cellulite so she looks fab all the time.

I made the appointment and went at the designated time and walked in feeling a bit foolish for being so vain that I wanted tanned legs. Well....they don't do JUST LEGS. Nope, she said that isn't the way it's done. It's all or nothing. Now let's think about that a minute... Oh, she says in her squeaky high pitched voice, with her size two body and her beautiful blond hair, you can wear your under*pants. Now there, that makes me feel a whole lot better..........

I said to her, "am I the oldest and fattest client that you have ever had"? Really, I said that. She laughed and said "No, I have an 81 year old client!" I didn't dare ask her if the 81 year old client was chubby.

Well I went in the little room and took off everything but the bare essentials like she advised and there I stood. Thankfully there was no mirror to remind me that I am a 56 year old grandmother.

She breezed in with her little mask on her face and started spraying me with this stuff that is supposed to make me tanned and healthy looking. Actually it felt kind of cool and nice and with her talking nonstop it wasn't really all that embarrassing, after all, she does this 8 hours a day so I wouldn't think everyone would look like Tara Banks or whatever that famous models name is.

After having me stand in several different poses to get all the nooks and crannies I was done and she said to stand in front of this little fan for a few minutes to dry a bit and then get dressed and come out.

When I came out she said she had a few more instructions for me and they were 1. not to sweat for 8 hours and 2. don't shower or scrub your hands for 8 hours. Now the showering I have some control over but the sweating part was a bit iffy. You're talking to someone that can have 5 hot flashes an hour with no control over anything!!! Just telling me not to have a hotflash almost gave me a hotflash!!

Anyway I came home and tried to think about all the cold snow we had all winter and believe it or not I didn't have a hotflash until the next day. We can't have our tan dripping onto the floor ya know!

It actually look pretty good the next day, not orange like I had feared and not fake bake like some of the tanning booth people look like but just a little color like I had been outside for a few hours. I am going back again on Thursday so it will be fresh for vacation as it wears off pretty quickly and I am starting to get that mayo look again. I guess you have to go once a week to keep it going but I just want it for this trip and then I will let nature give me a little color while I work in the garden or ride my horse.

If someone had told me that I would be getting a spray on tan in my under*pants I would've told them that they were crazy so you see you never know what you will do in this life!